Things on my mind and heart

I'm home sick for the second day in a row, so I figured I'd do something useful...instead of laying on the couch watching movies (which is all I've done up to this point.  How can you blame me with my library 10 feet away?).  I hate the feeling of sitting around all day though (even if I'm sick), so here I am.

Life has been busy.  There are so many things I want to do and people I want to spend time with that I never have time for everything!  As I get more involved in church, there are more and more opportunities...small group, bible study, friends, helping cook meals, childcare, etc.  I've had to remind myself to slow down.  It is really easy for me to spread myself thin, because I still want to do everything I did before Lyme, before this treatment.  It's hard for me to accept this, and it's easy for me to get frustrated with myself.

Lately, I've been having more and more side effects.  I'm on month 7 of the treatment (which is supposed to last 12-18 months), and I keep feeling worse.  I thought I would feel better by this point, but, like many things, it has to get worse before it gets better.  As this disease lingers and I feel progressively worse, I am learning to trust God more.  Each time I feel like I can't go on, each time I feel my hope slipping away, I am reminded that He is all I need.  He is enough.

Last week was really difficult.  Each day, something happened push me closer to the edge.  When I emailed my PA to ask her about my new side effects, she said that as I continue my treatment and the medicine and dying off gets "deeper", my symptoms will most likely intensify.  Boy, that was hard to swallow.  Praise God his faithfulness in providing friends who support, love, encourage and pray for me.  I couldn't do it without them.

<3