Health Recap

Happy February!

 I don't know that anybody actually reads this thing anymore, but i just feel like writing :)

I recently realized how little reading I have done on Lyme Disease, and decided that perhaps I should spend a little more time researching.   Now that i'm off all of the crazy prescriptions (since December 26th!), i've started looking into them.  Better late than never, right?

One of the main reasons I am curious about the drugs is because I have been having very not fun withdrawal symptoms since I finished going off of them.  At first, I thought I was just going crazy (sort of).  I was sick for two weeks with the flu over christmas, and in the middle of it, I started feeling REALLY low.  But, I couldn't sleep, had no energy, and hadn't been able to do a darn thing the entire time I was home...so I thought it kind of made sense.  I mean, you would probably go crazy too if you spent 14 days laying on a couch during the day and laying in bed, awake, all night.  Am I right?

I got to the point where I didn't want to look at another book or watch another show.  I was miserable.  After about a week of this, I thought slowly formed - "wait a minute...maybe there IS an explanation.  didn't I just go off like 10 prescriptions?!' (literally).  It took me about 3.2 seconds on google to discover that 4 of the drugs I had discontinued have anxiety, depression and insomnia as withdrawal symptoms.  fantastic!

"shouldn't you have thought of this sooner?" you might ask.  Well, yes.  And no.  You see, living with Lyme Disease has become so normal for me, swallowing handfuls became so routine, that a little slump in my emotions didn't really make me think twice.  Some days are bad, and that's just that.

But, after several days of not wanting to get out of bed and having no motivation to do anything, I started thinking.  Four of the prescriptions I was on were neurological drugs.  One is used for bi-polar disorder (my drug happy EX-doctor threw it at me over a year ago to 'help me sleep').  Another one is anti-anxiety ('oh, your heart is racing? Have a drug that causes memory loss and addiction.  Oh, and did I tell you that the withdrawal symptoms can be severe sleep disturbance, irritability, increased tension and anxiety, panic attacks, hand tremors, sweating, difficulty in concentration, confusion and cognitive difficulty, memory problems, dry retching and nausea, weight loss,  palpitations, headache, muscular pain and stiffness, hallucinations, seizures, psychosis, and suicide?  No?  Oh that's right, I never warned you about ANYTHING, because we prescribe drugs like candy".

Ok, I might sound a little bitter.  I'm really not, it just scares me that they prescribed medication so easily.  At one point I was taking close to 30 pills twice a day.  I was getting really bad headaches, so they gave me two more drugs.  I was having heart palpitations, so that's another.  And then there are the antibiotics (sometimes as many as 5 at once).

Sometimes I start beating myself up for not researching things more carefully...but then I remind myself that at some point, I had to trust them with my health - they are the doctors, after all!  I had been to doctor after doctor after doctor...normal, alternative, chiropractor, acupuncturist, gastroenterologist, travel medicine..I even flew to NYC to see a Chinese Herbalist.  He was...weird.  

None of them diagnosed me with Lyme (it was my brilliant mother who figured that out!).  I had just moved to DC, and was so excited to find out that there was actually a Lyme Specialist downtown...I was really hopeful.  But, after 2 years of a ridiculous amount of drugs and not feeling better (I felt worse, actually, because of the side-effects), I decided to visit a homeopathic doctor in Atlanta.  

Wow, this is turning out to be much longer than I anticipated!  Long story short: I'm off the drugs, I'm going to natural doctor and I have some frustrating withdrawal symptoms that don't seem to want to go away.  

BUT - through all of this, the Lord has been so faithful.  I am thankful for the hard times he brings me through because they remind me that I cannot rely on myself.  I am thankful for mornings of discouragement because they make his words so much sweeter.  And, yes, I am even thankful for loneliness, because sometimes that's the only way he can get my attention.