Hospital saga...number 1

Has it really been almost a month since I've done a new post??  I can't believe it.  There's been so much I want to write, but every time I get home, I am just so exhausted.  That's one thing that sucks about the Lyme thing...it zaps all my energy!  One good thing though...I have found some really great tv shows on netflix (and only feel mildly guilty for burning through them).

Disclaimer: If medical things make you uncomfortable and/or queasy, then you might want to skip this post.  You've been warned.

My life at GWUH - Part 1

George Washington University Hospital was beginning to feel like home.  Ok, not quite, but after  4 visits in 8 days...well, let’s just say all the nurses knew me.  The receptionist and I are bff (although for some reason he insisted on giving me identical instructions every single time), and the wristbands might as well become a permanent part of my wardrobe.  

     The fun started on Monday morning, when I woke to the pattering of rain and near freezing temperature.  lovely.  After alternately huddling under my umbrella and bussing, I made it to work by 8, an hour early.    Then, I got to sit at my desk and starve until my appointment at 11.  Yay!  

I decided to hail a cab since a) it was raining (I really didn’t need any other reason but... b) my bike tire was still very stolen (let’s be honest though, I wouldn’t have biked anyway) c) waiting for and transferring buses was too risky (no way I would arrive on time...they never come when they're supposed to!) and d) the metro would take forever...plus, the taxi would only cost 7 bucks.  Totally worth it.

Once I had signed in and showed my ID (I guess to prove i’m not a terrorist, although i’m not sure how my ridiculous jersey license would prove anything), I sat down in the radiology waiting room.  

I'm not sure why I'm showing you this, but yes, this was intentional.  The lady at the DMV was like, "you're gonna have this picture for 6 years...you sure you want it?"  Duh! Anyways -

I thought I had escaped the barium contrast ‘smoothie’, but I was not so lucky.  “Patient Rein!” I heard as a small, bald-headed man approached me.  I groaned inwardly (or was it audible?) as he held out a nalgene-sized amount (think iced venti starbucks cup - no ice) of white, viscous liquid.  I was supposed to drink that??  Let me tell you, being handed a starbucks straw and told to “enjoy yourself” did NOT improve the situation. 

Now doesn't that look tasty?

Trying to be positive, I took a sip of the ‘berry’ flavored crap.  How bad could it be?  After about 30 seconds, I thought I was going to puke.  My positive outlook had vanished, and I wasn’t even close to being done.

20 minutes later, I was that person, slurping the bottom of the cup through my straw.  “Ok Joyce”, I told myself, “just keep it down long enough for the CT!”...even though I really thought I was going to lose it all.  Thinking the worst was behind me (oh how young and naive I am!), I was given two hospital gowns and shown to another waiting room.  I changed quickly, one gown in front and one in back.  I was told to leave my shoes on, so the next minute found me shivering in the waiting room, wearing the gowns and my knee high boots.   I looked ridiculous!  PS...whoever thought of making patients wear paper-thin cotton gowns and then setting the thermostat to 45 should be shot.

     As I sat there waiting, surrounded by 60 year old women, I couldn’t help but think, “why am I here?? I’m only 24! This is SO unfair”.  But you know what?  Life isn’t fair.  At least I have the health insurance to pay for hospital tests.  I am thankful for that.

     After what seemed like forever, nurse Laura ushered me into another room to get my IV put in.  Needles don’t really bother me, but I’ve decided that closing my eyes when they first prick my vein makes it hurt a little less (I used to have this morbid desire to watch every thing as it happened.  Or maybe that's just curiosity?).  She taped the IV to my arm, and then led me down a hallway to another waiting area.  By this point, my courage was beginning to fail, and I wanted nothing more than to have someone there to hold my hand.  I thought I could handle going to the hospital alone, but it was just so lonely and I felt like crying.  As I sat there freezing in my ridiculous outfit and with an IV sticking out of my arm, I just wanted it to be over.      

     And it would be, soon, but not before one last little bit of torture.  The tech came to get me, and he was very nice.  He explained everything - the reason for drinking the barium, how the injected contrast (iodine) would make me feel, and that I also needed an enema.  EXCUSE ME?? Ain’t no doctor told me that!  He asked if I was ok with that, and I cracked a smile and said, “I guess I have to be...just get it over with”.  He laughed and said that everyone says, “If ida known I was gwon to have all this done to me, I wouldna come!”.  Exactly.  Thank you doctor for keeping me in the dark and lessening my dread...although if I ever have another CT, I'll EXACTLY what to expect.  

I kicked off my boots, laid on the table, and prepared for the worst.  The enema was over before I knew it, and the iodine injection felt exactly like he had warned me - an immediate heat all over my body, and feeling like I had wet myself (honestly, do they find things like that for the express reason of torturing us??).  The CT itself only took about 30 minutes, not bad at all (if you leave out the various methods of getting contrast into my body).  And then I got to go back to work...yay.  

Stay tuned for part two...